Competition and Children

Is competition good for children in activities and sports? Children engage in competitive endeavors on a daily basis, whether we call attention to it or not. How many times have we seen a group of kids chasing one another on the playground playing tag? During these games children are competing against one another in order to get, or not get, tagged. How many times have we seen a child on the monkey bars trying to get past the third bar in a series of eight bars leading to the other side? The child gets to the third bar and falls, then tries repeatedly to get past that bar. He competes over and over again against himself and his personal best until he reaches further, or decides he does not want to try anymore. In sports children compete all the time, whether coaches stress it or not. For example, consider a child playing a soccer game against another team. Each participant is competing in order to attain some reward; whether it is a goal, a joyful feeling of playing the game, pleasing mom or dad, or winning.

In each of these examples children are competing. While the soccer example makes it easy to spot competition, the first two examples show children competing spontaneously against someone or against themselves. Moreover, in each example the competition yields successes and failures; from the child on the monkey bars making it to the fourth bar then quitting, to the youth soccer player losing the game or feeling great having just played soccer for 50 minutes. It is our role as coaches and parents to teach kids that there is a healthy way to approach competition. An appropriate and healthy way to approach competition is to help kids see that it is more about getting better and improving than winning at all costs.

Achievement Goal Theory is commonly used by sports researchers to investigate and explain children’s competitive approaches in sport. The theory basically states that coaches create climates that either suggest that you are successful when you are winning or beating others, or that you are successful when you are improving or getting better. These are extremes as most of us involved with children likely stress both. However, the research would suggest that there are a whole host of benefits for stressing one over another in a competitive situation.

The basic idea is that a coach who stresses things such as trying hard, attempting skills or getting up after being knocked down during competition will be developing players that believe their success is due to effort (as opposed to innate ability that can’t be changed), players that persist (as opposed to those that quit), and players that ultimately will enjoy the game more (as opposed to those that say this “stinks”). Whereas a coach that stresses winning (with words or those pesky nonverbal gestures like a head shrug or hands thrown up in the air) will be developing kids that get anxious, may cheat to win, get frustrated and will not enjoy it if they do not win. Of course, striving for a win and discussing winning isn’t inherently bad, but think about it. Oftentimes winning is not in your control, especially in soccer. Let’s play out a scenario.

Team A has five great games in a row and loses all of them 1-0. The coach, thinking he was doing a service to the kids, says, “Why did you do that? That’s not going to help you win,” or “Get out there and win,” or “If you don’t win don’t even come over here at the end of the game.” Then the kids lose. Instead of telling the kids, “Hey, great job working hard we’ll get them next time,” the coach shrugs his shoulders and says, “You didn’t care enough to win.” Or, he says “You didn’t work hard enough to win.” Or the extreme says nothing and gestures for them to get out of here (don’t say you haven’t seen something like that).

The truth is very few kids will have the wherewithal to deal with that type of pressure. Those kids are likely the ones with high ability (very good players who, let’s be honest, at the younger ages are bigger stronger and faster and as a result have high confidence and more success in many cases anyway) or have parental support that suggests, “Don’t worry about it. We’ll get ‘em next time.” A more likely occurrence, is that the coaches’ behavior, if it persists, will drive many kids away from the game. The reason is that by placing emphasis on the win it takes a lot of control away from the player. This leads to higher anxiety, less confidence because he or she is not pleasing the coach and, at the end of the day, more questions in the child’s mind like, “Why would I subject myself to this when I can be doing other things.”

So what does all this mean to people who work with children in sports? While some will sit out there and condemn youth sports for being too competitive too early, or all about winning and losing, the truth is it can be a real opportunity to teach children valuable ways to approach competition; namely with the goal of working hard, focusing on getting better and having fun while doing both. Winning is always going to be in the equation, and I say good. When children lose and are upset about it, which they might be, it can be explained that it is ok to want to win but winning is sometimes out of their control and that in order to be successful they can try to work hard on the skills that it takes to win games. If you have ultra competitive kids, for example my son who hurls Candyland figurines across the room after a loss, it takes time. But ultimately youth sports can be the ideal place to teach and mold these behaviors as life is a series of wins and losses, and if we can promote the attitude to keep on chugging it is a good thing.

Dr. Lee Hancock is a USSF A licensed coach, professor in the Kinesiology Department at CSUDH in California, and sport psychology consultant for youth, college and professional athletes, teams and coaches. If you would like to contact Lee e-mail him at Lchancock@gmail.com or visit his Web site at www.developmentalsolutions.net .