The Parents' Role

One of the main problems with parents at games is that they sit too close to the field. Their proximity to the players gives them too much of a presence which, in turn, impacts the players’ behavior, response and performance. It’s very hard for parents to resist shouting instructions to the players because beginner players are visibly unsure of themselves and naturally make a lot of mistakes. Children aged 4 to 8 are naturally dependent on their parents for many of their daily needs. This dependency spills over into youth sports, manifesting as parental coaching from the sidelines. The players themselves will tend to look to their parents for help since they are conditioned to be dependent on them. Therefore, another important objective of the U-6/U-8 programs should be to wean the players out of their dependency on their parents’ help during games. This is so very crucial for the development of soccer players. We all know that soccer is a players’ game, meaning that it’s the players who must make the decisions on the field. In soccer, coaches have a lot less influence and power during games than in some of the other traditional American sports. Soccer players must learn to think for themselves, and the sooner they learn to stand on their own feet, the better. Since results do not matter at these age groups, no one should be overly concerned if players make mistakes that lead to goals. Parents and coaches must resist the urge to tell their players what to do. The following guidelines are recommended for U-6/U-8 game set-up:

1) The fields to be laid out in such a way that keep the parents about 20-30
yards from the sidelines. This can be easily done using special lines or ropes beyond
which parents cannot encroach. We all agree that most players want their parents to be at the games, watching them play, and we realize that having the parents sit by the sidelines seems so nice and cozy. But keeping the parents some distance away from the action will enhance the players’ sense of freedom and ease most of the intimidation any players might feel when the parents are right on top of them. And the parents can still enjoy watching the game. What we lose in coziness we gain in giving the players more independence.

2) The parents should not coach the players. All they should be allowed to do is cheer good plays by their team but they should also be encouraged to politely applaud good play by the other team.

3) Parents must never tell the players to “kick” or “boot” the ball. Kicking the ball needs to be discouraged. The parents will need to be prepared to accept that a lot of the dribbling attempts will be unsuccessful and that, nevertheless, they will have to bite their tongues and let the players try again and again.

4) The coaches should also keep their instruction to a minimum and let the
players understand that they must make their own decisions on the field and that it’s OK to make mistakes. The coaches should stand on the sideline and only enter the field if absolutely necessary. It must be remembered that we are trying to help the players grow out of their dependency on the adults. The coaches should encourage dribbling out of trouble and discourage kicking.